Violence is fun.

Allow me to present and translate a bare-bones, no-holds-barred, one-of-a-kind* violence RPG. This is a quick and dirty translation, so keep that in mind. Translated from a Swedish forum. Original author is God45, with additional material from Cassius and Laowai. Comments from me (when I felt they were necessary) in parentheses.

I've not really checked this for spelling or grammar errors, nor have I bothered with formatting it properly or anything, so yeah. Also, blogger ruins any kind of formatting I might want, so there's also a google document to look at.

Murder-a-palooza (yeah I don't know what that is) A PVP-RPG glorifying violence

(game test version)

Author: God45

Co-authors: Cassius and Laowai

Translator: yours truly

Spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are definitely my fault.

Background

It's sometime in the future. Humanity has spread everywhere and it's been proven that anything you can imagine is out there somewhere.

But right now you don't give a damn about that. You've been sentenced to the death for crimes you may or may not have committed. But you have a chance to escape your execution! If you play in the Murder-a-palooza-games and win three competitions you're set free. That nobody has won three competitions so far is a bit of a downer but hey, it's better than a straight execution.

Rules You have two stats:

• Kill stuff
• Everything else

You have 3 points to split between these two stats. When you roll a d6 against a stat you add the points you have in that stat.

When you want to try and kill someone, roll a d6. If you roll 5 or higher you roll on the corresponding hit chart (unarmed, melee weapon, firearms) to see what happens.

The one that says they do something first does it. If two players says something at the same time, roll a dice or something? I don't know? If someone is waiting to ambush or something like that they go first automatically.

Classes

You have a class as well. Your class has 3 special abilities. You start with one of them and for each game you survive/wine (if you survive you've won) you get another one.

Gunman

You're like a surgeon with your weapon of choice, which you also speak to as if it were your girlfriend. Play this class if you want to shoot first and last.

Special abilities

• Han shot first: you always win initiative
• Length matters: If you see them you can shoot them, no matter how far away they are.
• Back-up piece: You always carry an extra gun.

Psycho

You're an ugly, murdering, crazy sonofabitch doing hard drugs and hitting equally hard.

Special abilities

• Crazy eyes: Madness, real madness can ram a fist through a plank. If someone tries to hind behind something you can hit, run or throw yourself through it, no matter if it's wood or concrete.
• Impossible to stop: You can continue for an additional round after having taken lethal damage.
• Impossible to slow down: Wounds that doesn't kill also doesn't slow you down or hinder you in any way.

Cyborg

You're a mix between human flesh and bionic machine, created only to kill.

Special abilities

• Infrared vision: You can see heat signatures through objects with your robot eyes. You know where everyone is even without line of sight.
• Built-in defensive systems: If anyone comes close enough to attack you with a melee weapon (or unarmed) your defensive systems automatically engage giving you a free roll to see if you can hit them with an unarmed attack.
• Robot strength: You can lift enormous weights with your metal-filled body.

The pro

You're curteous, professional and always have a plan for killing anyone you meet. You drink your martinis shaken, not stirred.

Special abilities

• You're a shadow: You automatically roll a 6 when hiding.
• Judo training: Your unarmed attacks count as armed (with melee weapons) and your close combat (with melee weapons) count as firearms-attacks.
• Co-operation: If you co-operate with someone only the best in the group roll for stuff that isn't killing people.

The bounty hunter

You hunt people other people pay you to find. You are somewhat reckless at times, especially with that whole "dear or alive" thing.

Special abilities

• Gun turret: You're carrying a mobile weapon turret, which will shoot at anyone passing by once you've armed it.
• Thermal detonator: You have demo charges that you can throw and blow up entire areas. Anyone inside the detonation zone takes damage as if from a firearm.
• Jetpack: You can fly, wohooo!!!

Space monster

You're a giant, drooling beast with a taste for human flesh!

Special abilities

• Exo-skeleton: You have tough skin, or an actual exo-skeleton, as a shield. You're immune to unarmed and melee attacks.
• Tunneling: You can dig tunnels and travel underground as fast as you can walk.
• Claws and teeth and more claws: If you hit someone with a melee attack you add 50 to the hit chart roll.

Telepathic monk

You're part of an ancient order of monks with telepathic powers they get from small parasites in their bloodstream.

Special abilities

• Disturbances in the force: You can feel disturbances in the telepathic force in the universe which helps you. You can use knowledge that you as a player has, outside of your character, in the game and it's still not cheating.
• Force choke: you can make melee attacks on people you can see, without touching them. This also works over CCTV and Skype.
• Plasmasabre: You carry an ancient and deadly weapon, that only you can use thanks to your telepathic powers. You're so skilled with it that you, once per fight, can block bullets with it if you succeed with an Everything else-roll.

Doctor

You know how to patch together people that's been stabbed in the guts. It's not certain you've got a diploma from a medical school, but you might have. You might be a veterinarian, or even a moonlighting butcher. The important thing is that you have the skills that will make you everyone's best friend.

Special abilities

• Med-kit: You have the equipment to give people medical attention so that they don't die from wounds that would otherwise slowly kill them.
• Good enough for now: You can return function to something that's been lost due to a wound, once on each player.
• Drugs: You know some stuff about chemicals that affect the human body, and carry a box of that stuff with you. You can add stuff that kills people to food or water sources and thus kill people without even being close by.

Gladiator

You're a specialist at killing people spectacularly in front of an audience. You might have been a gladiator, a snuff-film dominatrix or that guy in a criminal organisation someone uses to send a message.

Special abilities

• Splatter zone: When you kill someone you do it so gruesomely blood that anyone seeing it are paralyzed for a round.
• Attention whore: For each person that sees you trying to murder someone, add +10 to the hit chart roll.
• Masochism: Continuing the fight with wounds is astounding and makes you more efficient. Each time you're hit and not killed, and +1 to your Kill stuff-stat for the rest of the game.

The innocent

You're here by pure bad luck, or someone at the company wanted your partner and knew people in the administration. There's someone at home waiting for you; your kids, your granny and your dog.

Special abilities

• Zie is no threat: You're the last possible target. If there's any other target nearby your opponents must shoot at this first.
• I went to school: You have +1 to all your Everything else-rolls.
• I fight for someone: You can once per game choose to hit something automatically and add +30 to the hit chart roll.

Company soldier

You're not here because you're guilty to something. You're here to stop someone else from winning. Someone that is a problem to Angel Inc. You have no feelings, except that you hate your job but love your pay. You like doves too, they're nice and don't give a crap about anything.

Special abilities

• My other car is a company car: You brought a vehicle, and it's armed with one weapon.
• I've done this a thousand times: You can re-roll two rolls per game. You have to use the new result.
• These are my working clothes: When you're hit by a firearm, subtract 20 from the hit chart roll.

Shape-changer

You might have had your consciousness moved to a replicant body based on nano-machines, or you have been infected by a virus that's made your physical form unstable. Either way, you're not bound to an unchanging body any longer, and once you're done with them your enemies won't be bound to their bodies at all.

Special abilities

• Mystique: You can re-shape your looks in order to look like someone else.
• T-1000: You can re-shape your body to contain all tools or weapons you might need. Claws, excavators, keys, tentacles, huge swords or machine guns.
• Mercer: You can absorb the biomass from a fallen enemy and use it to heal a wound. This also removes any trace of the body.

The Magician

The others are good at what they do, but you? You're magic! You're a swindler, a hustler and a mentalist. The cards up your sleeves are so easy to replace with knives, and you always have an Ace of Spades at hand.

Special abilities

• Rabbit out of a hat: You can, three times per game, pull any item smaller than a bread-box out of a hat or hat-ish object.
• Smoke and mirrors: You can, once per game, choose to not have been hit by an attack. Instead the opponent hit a mirror or other illusion you had prepared.
• Houdini: You can't be shut out, in or bound. You're automatically on the other side of whatever's stopping you, as if by magic.

Rockstar

You're a musician at a military level. When you play you blow organs, when you sing glass and metal explodes around you. Why carry a gun when you have a sonic drill made for cutting through mountains with you in the shape of a guitar? But why can you do all this? Who the fuck cares? Maybe you added speakers to your spine, or you were given powers from the alien-halfgod of rock? You were high when you did it, from having snorted Ozzy's ashes, so either way you don't remember.

Special abilities

• Stranglehold: Your music transforms all oxygen around you to sound waves. If you manage to play for two turns without dying or being interrupted (hands cut off or something, just getting hit isn't enough) all individuals within a 50m radius dies from suffocation.
• Fire of Unknown Origin: You can make noise so powerful that all objects of metal or glass within 50 meters explode into burning infernos.
• God gave rock and roll to you: You can, once per game, resurrect a dead player as an undead rock-zombie under your control. The player continues to play the character during the rest of the match, but has to follow your orders.

Fantasy refugee

A dimensional portal has dragged you from your universe of greedy dragons, violent dwarves and sociopathic wizards. You've instead landed in the Murder-a-palooza-universe filled with greedy space monsters, violent mutants and sociopathic bureaucrats. You're not terribly worried about this whole competition where everyone dies. It's not as if it could be worse than Tomb of Horrors.

Special abilities

• Warrior: You can swing your melee weapon twice per turn.
• Thief: Each time you wound someone you also steal an item they're carrying.
• Wizard: You're so unbelievably unbalanced that if you figure out a reason why you can do something through magic you can use your Kill stuff-stat for it, even if it's not about killing stuff.

Monster trainer

You're a monster trainer. Maybe you're from a djungle planet where you tamed animals to hunt with. Or a planet where tournaments and leagues were held to decide who the best monster trainer was. Or you were part of the military group that controlled the mutated troops through telepathic implants. No matter why, you're now here in Murder-a-palooza and you're ready to catch 'em all before they catch you.

Special abilities

• I choose you (monster trainers must start with this ability): You have a monster that obeys you. The monster has natural abilities that does the same damage as melee weapon attacks. You can control both the monster and yourself each turn and you're in constant contact with the monster. It cannot travel further than 50 meters away from you though. If it dies you're given a new one for the next match.
• It is dynamite: The monster does the same damage as a firearm.
• The strongest monster: The monster is invulnerable, but dies if you die.

Examples of competition forms

Assassination

The group of players are dropped down on a planet, in the middle of a larger city, with the goal to kill a chosen person. Usually a very protected such, like a mob boss or high-ranking politician.

Battlefield

The group is dropped on a planet with the goal to kill another group before that group kills them.

Capture the Flag

The players are dropped on a planet, with the goal to get their hands on a specific item. Whoever gets the item first wins, and the others are executed the exploding necklaces that all the players carry. How long do you want to keep the others alive so that they can help you reach the goal?

Murder extravaganza!

Free for all, last man standing wins.

Multi-kill

The players are dropped on a planet that for some reason has been barred from the galactic federation. The goal is to kill 100 civilians before you're stopped by the local authorities. Fast ways that speed up the killing, like blowing up buildings, is better.

Champion

The players co-operate to try and kill a mighty being or machine before it kills them. Gene-modified cyborg-T-Rex on a djungle planet, armed battle train on a deserted industrial planet or an attack helicopter in the desert are all examples of Champions.

Bug hunt

The players are sent in to neutralize enemy aliens in different claustrophobic settings, like abandoned space ships or bio-tech domes.

Death Race

Everyone's given a car, and first to finish three laps wins. No other rules. If anyone plays Company Soldier and has a vehicle they're given a flying vehicle instead.

Rabbit hunt

One player is the rabbit, the others are foxes. If the rabbit survives for 10 hours she wins and is a free man. Then the necklaces on the foxes explodes and they die. Each hour the rabbit's position and status is sent to all the foxes. The foxes' positions are not sent to the rabbit. Everyone against one and it's rabbit season!

King of the Hill

One player is equipped with heavy weapons, armor, ammo and anything she might want. Her mission is to kill everyone else. The others are to survive her. If anyone manages to kill "the King" the match is paused, and the one that did it gets five minutes to grab as much from the last King's equipment as she can before the match continues. Last person alive wins.

Hit charts

If you get a result that's already been rolled for the victim, take the result one step down instead.

Unarmed

1-10: You rip out your opponent's tongue
11-20: You poke one of your opponent's eyes out.
21-30: You break your opponent's main arm, temporarily lowering her Kill stuff-stat by 2.
31-45: You break your opponent's legs and make sure that she can't follow you if you run.
46-65: You knock your opponent unconcious.
66-75: You crush your opponent's ribs and damages her lungs. She'll need medical attention within 12 hours in order to survive.
76-85: You break your opponent's neck, killing her immediately.
86-95: You crush your opponent's skull, killing her immediately.
96-100: You overpower your opponent without killing or hurting her seriously.

Melee weapons

1-10: You hit your opponent in an arm, causing shallow wounds only.
11-20: You cut an ear off.
21-30: You hit an eye, ruining it.
31-40: Gut hit, ruining intestines. Medical attention within 6 hours to not die.
41-55: Throat hit. Dead within a turn and can thus make one action before death.
56-64: Face hit, tongue cut off.
65-75: Heart hit, immediate death.
76-85: Thigh, major artery hit.
86-95: Your weapon goes through opponent's skull, killing her.
96-100: Disarm opponent and take her weapons.

Firearms

1-5: Hit a foot, shoot off 3 toes.
6-10: Hit a hand, ruining it permanently.
11-15: Shoot off an ear.
16-20: Hit a knee, ruining it. Opponent is permanently limp.
21-25: Gut hit, medical attention within 24 hours to not die.
25-30: Grazes the head, knocking your opponent unconcsious without killing her.
31-35: Hit eye from an angle, ruining it.
36-40: Hit jaw and teeth; teeth on one side are all crushed, jaw is damaged and flesh is torn off.
41-45: Hit crushes opponent's weapon arm, lowers her Kill stuff-stat by 2 permanently.
46-50: Hit collapses one of opponent's lungs. Dies after one round, can make an action before death.
51-55: Shoot weapon out of hand, leaving the opponent unarmed. It takes one turn to pick it up again.
56-60: Hit ruins weapon-hand, lowering Kill stuff-stat by 3 permanently (not lower than 1).
61-65: Hit throat, ruins vocal cords. Medical attention within 5 minutes or death.
66-75: Hit chest, exploding the heart. Immediate death.
76-80: Burrows through skull, damaging brain. If given immediate medical attention will survive, but (I don't know what the author means by this result. Let's just assume "can't do much." for now)
81-85: Hit skull, ruining brain. Immediate death.
85-90: Hit major artery. 5 helpless, painfull minutes before death.
91-95: Hit groin. Death is much too slow. Immediate medical attention can save the person's life, but not their equipment.
96-100: You fire so quickly that you not only kill your opponent with a shot to their heart, but you also get a free hit on one of their comrades.

Hit by vehicle

1-10: Hit with side of bumper, no major wounds.
11-20: Crush both legs.
21-30: A failed dive under the car. Crush opponent's ribs. Medical attention within an hour to not die.
31-40: Arm caught under wheel, squeezing out bones, flesh and blood as from a toothpaste tube. Kill stuff-stat lowered by 2 permanently.
41-50: Broadside opponent with car, sending them flying. Opponent is in chock and can't move for a full turn.
51-60: Opponent gets stuck under car and gets dragged with, when she falls off both eyesight and all teeth have been lost.
61-70: Somehow you managed to decapitate your opponent. With a car.
71-80: You hit your opponent and get stuck with a wheel in her intestines. Pedal to the metal just sends intestines flying over the car, area and the rest of her. She's helpless and can't do anything but die slowly and inhumanly painful for the next 10 minutes.
81-90: Opponent flies up on the bonnet and rams their head through the window, getting stuck. She breaks her neck and is lame from the neck down.
91-99: You hit your opponent and pushes her chest to her spine. Immediate death.
100: You hit with such power that your victim explodes!

Other wounds

If something happens that doesn't fit under the other Hit charts but you think should cause a wound, roll on this table and come up with a good description.


1: Gets a hit causing bruising and minor wounds, but nothing major.
2: Is chocked by the wound, can't act next turn.
3: Arm badly damaged, can't be used any more.
4: Leg badly damaged, can't be used any more.
5: Terrible/disgusting/humiliating wound.
6: Dies.

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So that's the entire thing.
*Don't get your knickers in a twist, it's a tongue-in-cheek presentation; let's not take everything literally.