Sunday 15 September 2013

Violence is fun.

Allow me to present and translate a bare-bones, no-holds-barred, one-of-a-kind* violence RPG. This is a quick and dirty translation, so keep that in mind. Translated from a Swedish forum. Original author is God45, with additional material from Cassius and Laowai. Comments from me (when I felt they were necessary) in parentheses.

I've not really checked this for spelling or grammar errors, nor have I bothered with formatting it properly or anything, so yeah. Also, blogger ruins any kind of formatting I might want, so there's also a google document to look at.
Murder-a-palooza (yeah I don't know what that is) A PVP-RPG glorifying violence
(game test version)
Author: God45
Co-authors: Cassius and Laowai
Translator: yours truly
Spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are definitely my fault.

Background

It's sometime in the future. Humanity has spread everywhere and it's been proven that anything you can imagine is out there somewhere.

But right now you don't give a damn about that. You've been sentenced to the death for crimes you may or may not have committed. But you have a chance to escape your execution! If you play in the Murder-a-palooza-games and win three competitions you're set free. That nobody has won three competitions so far is a bit of a downer but hey, it's better than a straight execution.

Sunday 8 September 2013

Jeff Rients' 20 questions.

Jeff Rients posted this ages and ages ago, and I tend to use it to figure stuff out when I'm planning something, because it's good to do and it helps to know this stuff. For the current campaign, where the world is blank and gets filled in as we play it's not as critical, but it's still good to answer as many of the questions as possible.

>What is the deal with my cleric's religion?
This question I'll leave to the players, and specifically the ones that play Clerics. I might come up with some religions as well, but overall I don't foresee many problems for that. Church of the Eternal Flower, The Copper Wheel's Brotherhood... endless possibilities.

>Where can we go to buy standard equipment?
Markets and similar. Small villages won't feature enough shops for "standard equipment" as such, but you can probably find the stuff by talking to the villagers. I mean, it's not as if there are "adventuring shoppes" in every village. Major cities do feature "Ye Olde Adventuringe Shoppe", but the quality there is abysmal, because they're selling to tourists and bored nobles that think they want to go spelunking.

>Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?
Any armor blacksmith can do it, but you might have to pay extra. Regular blacksmiths don't usually work with that kind of stuff to begin with.

>Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?
Lady Ravastine; formerly Ravastine Lightbringer, also known as Ravastine Serpent-tongue, Ravastine the Unkind and Ravastine the Terrible (not to her face though). She's said to be politically neutral, since her given task is to keep the Sleeping Dragon from waking. The Sleeping Dragon is beneath a mountain range in the west. Whether or not there actually is a dragon there remains to be seen.

>Who is the greatest warrior in the land?
General Brodkin might be. At least people in the capital talks about him as if he is.

>Who is the richest person in the land?
The City King; king of the Spires of Northmarsh (it's in the south). All nobles (except those of the Inner Court) and merchants pay rent to him for their floors or spires, which goes a long way to explain why he's so rich. The City of Spires also happens to be the biggest trade town on the continent.

>Where can we go to get some magical healing?
The churches of the Eternal Flower are known to aid in that, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg. Possibly an actual arm and a leg.

>Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?
Some diseases are treated by wise men or women, and some local villages might have recipes for antidotes for certain poisons, but overall you're pretty much screwed. You'll have to look real hard to fix level drain, lycanthropy and similar stuff, and there's no resurrection (although tales of it happening isn't uncommon). Undeath is not a curable state.

>Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?
No. MUs aren't exactly trusted to begin with, and people wouldn't look kindly at them creating a guild.

>Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?
Dunno. Not in Utböle.

>Where can I hire mercenaries?
You can probably find them in cities along the major trade routes.

>Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?
There isn't even a map, but sure; some cities forbid some stuff.

>Which way to the nearest tavern?
That way.

>What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?
Goblin raiders from the northern steppes, there're rumours of a giant snake that lives in a forest somewhere "around there." *gestures at map*

>Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?
None here, but nobody likes the Pirate Nation.

>How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?
Major cities have a few of these venues, but they might not be entirely what you'd expect.

>Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?
Sure.

>What is there to eat around here?
"Ugly duckling" is a local dish. It's what it sounds like, but it looks horrible. Otherwise the regular stews, soups and dried meat. Also sausages.

>Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?
Yeah, sure. There's supposedly a tower with a sleeping princess in, if you manage to wake her up you get half of the kingdom's treasure. Other stuff.

>Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?
I'll have to think about that one.


Sunday 1 September 2013

On Goblin Fashion

The Wailing Mace was mentioned in the book "On Goblyn Fashionne", part of a series of journals describing anthropologist Acks Nynsay's stay with a goblin tribe. For over five years Acks stayed with the tribe and took part in their daily life and their raids; she learned their language and observed their mating rituals. The Wailing Mace is mentioned briefly as Acks describes the goblin chieftain prior to a raid:
"The goblyn chief was dress'd inn combatt garb, with the usual warrior painting of the face that is commonn inn these tribes. Behind her stoode her slave-husbandes, four inn all (as these tribes preferres the number four). Withe a screame so as to heighten our fighting spirits the chief raised her flail -a weaponne she said screamed inn her mynde- and led the charge toward the merchante camp atop her dire wolve. The battle was short, and I killed two guards myself, earninng a place at the chief's table at the feast afterwardds."

Nynsay was hanged when she returned to civilization, but her journals became widely popular as a sort of post-modern take on adventuring.